Monday, August 10, 2009

A Visit From PZ

There was a Professor from Morris
who gathered the cast and the chorus.
And we all headed down
to visit the clowns
and the bibleists that all abhor us.

As day broke, sunny and grand,
the heathens from all o'er the land
north, east, west and south
all by different routes,
for reason we'd take a firm stand.

To Kentucky we all did flock.
Racing so we'd beat the clock
so if we were inclined
we might head up the line
so we could be the first to mock.

With ticket and button in hand
we followed through with our plan:
for ourselves to see
the insanity
of Ken Ham's folly first hand.

As soon as we walked in the door:
Behold! A large pterasaur!
Graceful and free -
or not. It could be
it evolved to stay off the floor.

The next thing we saw was bizarre -
a grazing and growling brontosaur!
Then we saw what they did
with the raptors and kids.
The Flintstones can't be too far!

The Grand Canyon was, so they say,
carved by the flood in mere days.
If you ignored all the facts,
or hit your head with an axe
or replaced your brain with mayonnaise.

They said if we came we'd believe,
but not after Adam and Eve!
We laughed, not from spite -
we could tell from first sight
that this place was built to deceive

Next was Noah and his Ark.
The departure from fact was stark!
While the rain quickly poured
God put the dinos on board
but didn't have room for the shark.

Heaven forbid if you doubt them
cause no one's more honest than Ken Ham!
He said “You can trust us!”
“We're just lying for jebus!”
and the creo-zombies echo “Amen!”

If there was one part of that twaddle
that kept me from coming unraveled
was the sight of PZ
on the dino that was wearing a saddle.

While there we laughed and we learned.
We left wondering how facts could be spurned.
The day went as we thought.
The science was naught.
So we vowed we would never return.

Here is the moral of my tale:
stay away from this shrine to fail!
But if visit you must,
to hide your disgust
go filled up with whiskey and ale.

Edited to fix the spacing.

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