Thursday, March 21, 2013


Last night I had a bizarre dream.
I woke up scared, ready to scream.
The country went crazy
with religionarys
and we ended up refugees.

Science fiction author Robert Heinlein, in some of his works, described what he called the Crazy Years. These years came after Americans elected a virtual theocracy into power, which led to all sorts of problems for people who did not believe exactly as they did. These beliefs were mostly of the evangelical sort, the likes of which are taught in most mega-churches these days.

In my dream, these terrors actually came to pass. It got to the point where I had to take my family to England as political refugees. The set us up with charming accommodations built out of an old dock storage shed.

Luckily, nothing like that would ever happen in real life.


Friday, March 15, 2013


I think the right's often deranged
but Portman said something that's strange.
Gay marriage is okay
now that his son is gay.
I doubt, though, that this leads to change.

Rob Portman, the Republican junior Senator from Ohio, has recently come out in support of the legalization of the marriage of homosexuals. This abrupt turnaround on this policy comes after his son announced his own homosexuality.

As much as I wish that he would have supported marriage equality just for the sake of equality, it is a huge step forward for those of us not bigoted. I can almost guarantee, though, that when he comes up for reelection he will face a staunch primary battle because now he is a RINO. The far-right ideologues will not stand for anyone who is even a bit left of them.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

In A Nutshell

Now let me be perfectly clear:
When you are in front of your peers
you should be able
to bring to the table
more than "We don't need new ideas."

That quote, from Marco Rubio at the Conservative Political Action Conference, perfectly sums up the GOP. They have pushed aside any who have dared speak to the fact that their platform might, perhaps, be a little 14th century for a supposed 21st century civilization. Chris Christie, for example, was not invited to speak at the conference this year after he was seen to be a little too left of crazy.

If you do not introduce new ideas to your thinking, then the world will move on without you. You will continue to be marginalized and left out of further adult discourse.

The New Boss

One thing that I've often discussed
In life, we all do as we must.
One thing that I mind
is that when you lie
and say that you stand for what's just.

As I was writing yesterday's limerick, news broke that the new Pope has been named. Therefore, I take credit for the conclave so quickly naming a successor to Ratzi the Nazi. Any complaints can be forwarded to the round file.

The new guy, Jorge Bergoglio, has taken the name Francis. He has been lauded because he cares about the poor, and had even given up some of the trappings of being a Cardinal when he was the Archbishop of Beunos Aires. He does, however, support the traditional doctrine against all forms of birth control, which has the express result of causing even more children being born into poverty.

Another thing that the new boss supports is the lack of rights for homosexuals. It has been said that Pope Francis is “a man who calmly stands for what’s right and just." He also believes that adoption by homosexual couples is "a form of discrimination against children." In my mind, a person who stands for justice would support justice for everyone, not just those who think or feel or believe or love the exact same way that they do. Anything less is unequal and unjust.

I know that I have been writing quite a bit about the papacy recently, but that is what has been big in the news. I promise to take a break from the pope until he says something else stupid. So, maybe a couple of days.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013


Though some might think it's a bad joke
there are those who are nothing but stoked.
The news gets all whirled.
It seems that the world
just waits for a puff of white smoke.

I know it's another limerick about the potential pope problem, but this is what's been dominating the news recently.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The Big Bobrovsky

The Jackets have been on a roll
and each team they play pays the toll.
The year started bleak
now they're on a streak
with the Big Bobrovsky in goal.

After starting the season as the worst team in the NHL, the Blue Jackets have been streaking recently, having won 5 in a row.

We're just past the midway point in the season, so there's still a way to go. There is reason for hope, however. A team with no big stars has played workman's hockey, finding a way to win.

Monday, March 11, 2013

On Topic

Topics can be so hard to find
it can leave you in such a tight bind.
It's so hard to write
stuck in the night
lost in the fog in my mind.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Sunday School

When you choose to give God a treat
make sure that it's something that bleats.
Because, as we've seen
God can get real mean
if you offer him up some wheat.

If you read the Bible, it's plain:
God loved Able more than Cain.
And without deference
God had a preference.
Then Cain chose to rock Able's brain.

One more thing fills me with strife,
and cuts at my brain like a knife:
Shortly after God
banished him to Nod

So there it is. The single most pressing question in the first 5 chapters of Genesis. There were two people, then four, then a civilization with multiple cities. Modern theology tries to explain this away, but there is no way around the only solution: Incest. All of the begats in chaper 5? Incest. According to the bible, we are all the end results of generations of cousin diddling. Or, perhaps parent-child loving, but we'll have more fun with that when we meet Lot.

Saturday, March 9, 2013


I'll tell you 'bout this guy named Ray
who keeps critical thinking at bay
He talks about how
we can't make a cow
as he brushes all science away.

Ray Comfort, known as The Banana Man, has been spouting idiocy for a very long time now. Recently, he has been lying for Jesus on Facebook with great frequency. I follow him because I find it amusing not only that someone would spew such vile garbage, but there appear to be a large number of followers who actually believe what he has to say.

Honestly, at this point, I am not sure what to believe about Mr. Comfort. Does he actually believe the things he says, or if he is just using the moronic postings to create controversy to feed his giant ego.

Friday, March 8, 2013

I Call Dibs To Be The Next Pope!

Though he quit, he's still a dope
and soon they will choose a new pope.
I'd love if 'His Grace'
was sent to a place
where he worries 'bout dropping the soap.

Ah, Catholics. You can't be truly religious until you have someone acting as your mouthpiece to and from God. The Conclave of Cardinals convenes (alliteration!) on Tuesday, where they will pick the next person to cover up for the atrocities committed by the Catholic Church.

I know that not every Catholic is a Papist, but if you do not look at the long history of almost outright evil perpetuated by the Church and leave Catholicism then you are as much a part of the problem as the Pope himself. If you donate money to the Catholic Church, then you are enabling them to continue their evil, and cover it up as best they can.

I just want the rockin' hat.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Callooh Callay!

Time, I've been told, often flies.
You blink and it passes you by.
I just meant to take
a very short break
to cleanse my soul and clear my mind.

Limericks are back!