I never thought in my lifetime
I'd have to make this kind of rhyme.
But this is just weird:
They're cutting off beards.
It's Amish-on-Amish crime
Stuebenville, Ohio is Amish country. But some Amish are more Amish than other Amish, and in order to set the not-as-Amish straight, there has been a series of attacks recently. In assaults that can only be called gruesome, they cut off each others' beards. Is nothing sacred? At long last, have we finally lost the last remnants of our humanity?