Sunday, March 10, 2013

Sunday School

When you choose to give God a treat
make sure that it's something that bleats.
Because, as we've seen
God can get real mean
if you offer him up some wheat.

If you read the Bible, it's plain:
God loved Able more than Cain.
And without deference
God had a preference.
Then Cain chose to rock Able's brain.

One more thing fills me with strife,
and cuts at my brain like a knife:
Shortly after God
banished him to Nod
WHERE THE HELL DID CAIN FIND A WIFE?

So there it is. The single most pressing question in the first 5 chapters of Genesis. There were two people, then four, then a civilization with multiple cities. Modern theology tries to explain this away, but there is no way around the only solution: Incest. All of the begats in chaper 5? Incest. According to the bible, we are all the end results of generations of cousin diddling. Or, perhaps parent-child loving, but we'll have more fun with that when we meet Lot.

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