One Down, Derp To Go

Cain has abandoned his run.
His indiscretions left him stunned.
He did something silly:
he thought with his willy
and now I Cain't have as much fun.

I have calculated the fact that Herman Cain abandoned his campaign because of an affair while Gingrich is the front runner to be 1.376 Newtons.

Herman Cain, Foreign Policy Guru

Some people think he's a saint,
but I think his ideas are quaint.
There's a thing or two
that Herman can do
And lots of things that Herman Cain't.

Herman Cain, Republican presidential hopeful, has stated that he doesn't care at all who is in charge of one of the countries that we might have to rely on in our war with Afghanistan. Knowing our international partners might not create a job, Mr. Cain, but it might go a long way in keeping our soldiers alive.

Rhymes With "Diggerhead"

Dick Perry's problems get bigger.
Cain's campaign has pulled the trigger.
Can paint on a rock
help drop Perry's stock?
Depends how he is as a digger.

A hunting camp leased by Dick Perry's father, then by Dick himself, has a rock near the entrance. This rock was painted with the name of the camp, a name which is still used by locals.

The name of that hunting camp? "Niggerhead"

Perry has said that the camp's name is "an offensive name that has no place in the modern world." But, according to the Washington Post, the name, painted on a flat rock near the entrance to the camp, could still be made out.

Of course Dick Perry disputes the name for the camp, and says that the name was painted over in "1983 or 1984." This explains why it's now known locally as "Perryhead", right?