A Complex Complex

Their claims are often disputed
and arguments easily refuted
but they play the game
and still make the claim
that Christians are still persecuted

Ed Brayton shared a trifecta of stories today about Christian "persecution" in America. On the face, those claims, they are laughable. Digging deeper into those claims, they are still laughable.

Christianity is, by far, the largest majority in the United States. Among Christians, Evangelicals are the majority group. These are the ones, it seems, that claim to be persecuted more often than any other group, religious or otherwise. These are the people who pass laws solely based on their beliefs, trying to legislate their morality on everyone, regardless of what each persons beliefs might actually be. They then cry "PERSECUTION" when a person or group fights back against the tyrannical majority.

I have a dream. I have a dream that, someday, hoping beyond hope, that people can congregate in a place that is solely devoted to worship. I have a dream that, someday, people can confess to the world that they believe in God. I have a dream that, sometime in the distant future, perhaps a politician can profess his belief in the God of the Bible and actually get elected to office. I have a dream that, somehow, they will remove the laws that are on the books in seven states that prohibit believers from running for office.

Someday, perhaps, my dreams might become reality. Until then, I suppose Christians will continue to be persecuted.

Snip it in the Bud

Religions are stuck in a rut.
They're all full of regressive nuts.
They don't seem to care
'bout instances where
they get kids sick after they cut.

I have never tried to hide my feelings toward circumcision. I think it is an evil, barbaric practice that should be illegal in every civilized society. It should be looked down upon like most people look down on Female Genital Mutilation because, honestly, there is no difference between the two.

The Friendly Atheist shares a story about mohels, Jewish men and women trained to perform circumcisions. After performing the deed, they are required to draw blood from the wound. This is done by a suction device or, in Orthodox ceremonies, but the mohel sucking the blood away. With his mouth. On the penis of an infant.

Apart from the unsavory morality issues inherent with this, there are many medical complications that can arise. Infants, 8 days old as required by Jewish tradition, have contracted herpes as a direct result of this ritualistic disfigurement. Two babies have died.

The parents of children who have been given diseases by these practitioners have refused to name the mohels that got their children sick. New York City's health department has banned two mohels from performing circumcisions in NYC, but will not name them. Because, of course, we wouldn't want to prevent them from moving somewhere else and slicing up other infants.

This is, to me, just as disgusting and wrong-headed as the Catholic Church refusing to name priests who molested children.

By The Book

To convert them, by hook or by crook
you should always be seen where they look.
If you have the nerve
to sign up and serve
they'll make sure you see their "good" book.

The Pentagon has responded to a minor kerfuffle that has arisen recently. The have backed a National Guard recruitment center in St. Louis MO, which has been offering camouflage-covered Bibles to recruits as they prepare to serve our country. As long as every organization has the opportunity to offer their books, then I don't think there should be a problem. If they start excluding anyone, then lawsuits should be a-filed.

Anyone who has been in the military knows that this is not at all uncommon. I remember Bibles being handout out during in-processing at Ft. Jackson when I went there in '96. I was religious at the time, so it did not bother me at all. As I started sliding into un-belief, I started noticing more and more how insidious the Christian culture had infiltrated all ranks of whatever command I was in.

The worst part was when we were in the field. Out in the sun all day, training hard, playing soldier like a boss, eating MREs. Slogging back to base, dirty, dripping with sweat, hungry to the soul for hot food and a hot shower. Cleaning up a bit, we'd hit the mess tent. Regardless of how loud our stomachs protested, we could not sate ourselves.

Someone always had to open their big mouths to pray over our food. Not caring about what the belief of any other soldier might be, they would not serve any food until the magic words had been spoken.

It was not limited to meal time, either. If you wanted a promotion and your commander was religious, you best not miss his Prayer Breakfast every Sunday's drill. Religion is like a worm that has worked its way through the command structure, and woe betide you if you believe differently than some commands.

With Rhyme, Without Reason

Though in the courts they were beaten,
it seems one more thump they are needin'.
A Bishop said priests'
names won't be released.
And why? He said "There's no reason."

Another day, another story about Catholics above the law but below civilized morality.

The Bishop in charge of the Diocese of Lafayette in Louisiana has stated that the church will not release the names of priests who were responsible for the molestation of children. The Diocese was ordered to pay a $26 million settlement for those crimes. At least one of those priests, Gilbert Gauthe, was transferred between churches in the Diocese, allowing him to hurt a new batch of victims.

Bishop Michael Jarrell has refused to release the names of the priests who preyed on children. His reasoning? That releasing the names "would serve no purpose." There is an allegation, which the Church denies, that one priest is still in the same Lafayette church in which he victimized a young boy.

The purpose of releasing the names of EVERY priest who attacked children is to prosecute them for their crimes, and protect any other children from ever being harmed by them again.

Power and Glory

When you can't rely on providence
to support you in your opulence
just sit and relax.
It's all paid with tax!
We all pay for their extravagance.

CNN has a story detailing the prices of homes of bishops and archbishops in the United States. They range from a 'modest' 4 bed/4 bath house in which a single person lives to the $30 million mansion inhabited by the archbishop of New York. Because donations to churches are tax-exempt, all of these 'homes' are bought and maintained with tax-payer money.

Personally, I find it appalling that people who claim to follow Christ, who said that in order to get rewards in heaven you must sell all of your possessions and give the money to the poor live in luxury when there are hundreds of thousands homeless in this country, with millions more living in poverty and millions of children hungry. These are the same people who claim to follow the same man who said 

"And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go 

through the eye of a needle,than for a rich 

man to enter into the kingdom of God."

They might claim that it's not actually their wealth, because it technically belongs to the Catholic Church, but I believe that if you are reaping the benefits of the wealth, and you have control of the wealth, then it is your wealth. You can not live in a multi-million dollar mansion and then claim that your organization is bankrupt when you rightly get sued for protecting your employees over the victims of their crimes.

The whole organization is morally bankrupt.

Dreaming

Last night I had a bizarre dream.
I woke up scared, ready to scream.
The country went crazy
with religionarys
and we ended up refugees.

Science fiction author Robert Heinlein, in some of his works, described what he called the Crazy Years. These years came after Americans elected a virtual theocracy into power, which led to all sorts of problems for people who did not believe exactly as they did. These beliefs were mostly of the evangelical sort, the likes of which are taught in most mega-churches these days.

In my dream, these terrors actually came to pass. It got to the point where I had to take my family to England as political refugees. The set us up with charming accommodations built out of an old dock storage shed.

Luckily, nothing like that would ever happen in real life.

Right?

Smokin'

Though some might think it's a bad joke
there are those who are nothing but stoked.
The news gets all whirled.
It seems that the world
just waits for a puff of white smoke.

I know it's another limerick about the potential pope problem, but this is what's been dominating the news recently.

Sunday School

When you choose to give God a treat
make sure that it's something that bleats.
Because, as we've seen
God can get real mean
if you offer him up some wheat.

If you read the Bible, it's plain:
God loved Able more than Cain.
And without deference
God had a preference.
Then Cain chose to rock Able's brain.

One more thing fills me with strife,
and cuts at my brain like a knife:
Shortly after God
banished him to Nod
WHERE THE HELL DID CAIN FIND A WIFE?

So there it is. The single most pressing question in the first 5 chapters of Genesis. There were two people, then four, then a civilization with multiple cities. Modern theology tries to explain this away, but there is no way around the only solution: Incest. All of the begats in chaper 5? Incest. According to the bible, we are all the end results of generations of cousin diddling. Or, perhaps parent-child loving, but we'll have more fun with that when we meet Lot.

Comforting

I'll tell you 'bout this guy named Ray
who keeps critical thinking at bay
He talks about how
we can't make a cow
as he brushes all science away.

Ray Comfort, known as The Banana Man, has been spouting idiocy for a very long time now. Recently, he has been lying for Jesus on Facebook with great frequency. I follow him because I find it amusing not only that someone would spew such vile garbage, but there appear to be a large number of followers who actually believe what he has to say.

Honestly, at this point, I am not sure what to believe about Mr. Comfort. Does he actually believe the things he says, or if he is just using the moronic postings to create controversy to feed his giant ego.

I Call Dibs To Be The Next Pope!

Though he quit, he's still a dope
and soon they will choose a new pope.
I'd love if 'His Grace'
was sent to a place
where he worries 'bout dropping the soap.

Ah, Catholics. You can't be truly religious until you have someone acting as your mouthpiece to and from God. The Conclave of Cardinals convenes (alliteration!) on Tuesday, where they will pick the next person to cover up for the atrocities committed by the Catholic Church.

I know that not every Catholic is a Papist, but if you do not look at the long history of almost outright evil perpetuated by the Church and leave Catholicism then you are as much a part of the problem as the Pope himself. If you donate money to the Catholic Church, then you are enabling them to continue their evil, and cover it up as best they can.

I just want the rockin' hat.

Not So Fresh

This is the story 'bout how
'Zona got flipped upside down.
They started a fight
to erase the rights
of students by forcing a vow.

Republicans in Arizona have submitted a bill that would make the following vow necessary for completion of High School in the state.

I, _________, DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES AGAINST ALL ENEMIES, FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC, THAT I WILL BEAR TRUE FAITH AND ALLEGIANCE TO THE SAME; THAT I TAKE THIS OBLIGATION FREELY, WITHOUT ANY MENTAL RESERVATION OR PURPOSE OF EVASION; AND THAT I WILL WELL AND FAITHFULLY DISCHARGE THESE DUTIES; SO HELP ME GOD.

There's no chance, of course, that this would pass any sort of constitutional muster. that doesn't matter to these people. They are more than willing to either make people lie or withhold their diplomas in order to force their theocratic idiocy onto the population.

I took an oath similar to this when I joined the military. I can understand that type of oath or affirmation when you are signing up to possibly kill or be killed for your country. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why they want to force children to swear this.

Pay To Play

I think that it's quaint to see
people whose eyes are opening
They asked the questions
and then learned a lesson:
Religion has never been free.

A California couple has filed a lawsuit against the Church of Scientology, claiming that the purpose of Scientology is to make money. And also that the Church has perverted the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard, twisting them into a money making scheme.

What they don't understand is that Scientology has always been about making money. It was founded because Hubbard was sick of getting paid a penny a word for his sub-par sci-fi and wanted to turn a better profit. So he turned his crap science-fiction into an even crappier cult, in order to fleece the gullible.

Commanding

Want to treat people's souls well,
and keep them from going to hell?
Put the Commandments
on a monument.
Just make sure you know how to spell.

11. Thou shalt use a spellchecker.

Master Debaters, Redux

The argument's so very flawed.
It shows that the whole thing's a fraud.
Unless you are dense
it doesn't make sense
that we are all children of God.

Last night, in the second presidential debate, Mitt Romney said that we are all children of God. That's not just a metaphor for him. Mormons believe that god is a real person living on a planet called Kolob. God has many wives who bear him spirit children. These spirit children come to Earth as humans. So, according to the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are literally God's children. All of us are half-siblings, all with the same father.

The only logical conclusion to draw from this particular belief of Mormonism is the fact that each couple sealed inside a temple is married to their sibling, and each Mormon child is a consequence of incest.

Ick.

Theoretically

Sometimes it is easy to tell
who is or not mentally well.
Just ask them and see
if it's just a theory
or lies straight from the pit of hell.

Sigh.

Paul Broun is a U.S. Congressman from Georgia. He is an M.D., and considers himself a scientist. He is also the chair of the House Science Committee. He is also an idiot.

During a speech delivered at Liberty Baptist Church in Hartwell, Georgia, he said a most astoundingly stupid thing:

"God's word is true. I've come to understand that. All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the big bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell"

This man is on the SCIENCE COMMITTEE! This person is in charge of legislation that helps determine the direction of science research in this country, and says such an abysmally ignorant thing, something which should disqualify him from that position.

He'll keep getting reelected, though. Republicans think education is a bad idea.

What Is Love?

This question might sound cynical,
or maybe too analytical.
I just want to know,
can somebody show:
Which type of family is biblical?

The president of Chik-Fil-A has come out swinging for the derp again, saying that the restaurant chain supports "biblical families"

Of course, marriage in the bible is a very nebulous concept, and the "values" for the family can be disturbing.

Deity Diet

If you eat your god like a roast,
like dry, dull and tasteless french toast,
make sure you don't slip
listen to this tip:
Make sure that you have the right host.

If you are Catholic, the ritualistic cannibalism is nothing new to you. Transubstantiation is the idea that, after the communion juice and crackers are blessed by the right magic words, they are turned into the literal blood and body of Jesus Christ. I touched on this earlier, concerning the passing of said deity. This post is not about that.

This post is about a little girl.

Allison Sisson has celiac disease, which prevents her from absorbing some essential nutrients and can cause abdominal distress and other issues. She is also a proud Catholic, and enjoys the ritualistic cannibalism that goes along with her beliefs. The normal cracker is just too wheaty for her, so her mother approached the priest with gluten-free crackers. The priest said that the snacks were hunky-dory, said the appropriate rites, and everything was fine.

Until the bishops got involved.

The one, true cracker is "wheat and wheat only", because "at the time, the bread was unleavened. It would have been basically wheat and water." Anything else would be uncivilized.

With a 'B'

Though they won't indulge in a beer,
and they've stifled freedom for years,
Mormons have dug deep
and shelled out a heap:
Seven BILLION dollars a year.

Yup. Current estimates have put tithes given to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints at up to $7B. All of it tax free. And what does the church do with these funds? Donate it to the poor? After all, Christ said that the rich won't enter heaven. Of course they won't donate it. They use their money as capital to leverage business acquisitions.

Now, I'm all for a business making a profit. Hell, I'm all for a church making a profit. If you are using your religion to make an obscene profit, then going directly against the tenets of that religion, you should have your tax-exempt status revoked, immediately and permanently.

Belief

Things sure do seem evident:
Religion is less relevant.
A new poll is out
that gives cause to shout:
Believers are less confident.

Gallup has released the results of a poll recently. Although, in America, 83.1% are believers, only 44% of Americans are confident in church/organized religion.

I wonder if it could be a message issue.

Taxing My Patience

It seems, at times, their thoughts are lax.
They can't seem to marshal the facts.
Though his thoughts seem strewn
Bryan Fischer's a loon:
He says "Go to church or be taxed."

I wish, from time to time, that I was more prone to use hyperbole as a rhetorical device. Sometimes it does appear that way, as I post the idiocy and drivel that comes my way. But this...this is a new brand of stupid, the likes of which I have not seen, and I have read a Ray Comfort book.

Bryan Fischer, of the American Family Association, came right out and said that if you do not go to church, then you should have to pay a tax.

No word yet on if a mosque or temple are allowed.