A Complex Complex

Their claims are often disputed
and arguments easily refuted
but they play the game
and still make the claim
that Christians are still persecuted

Ed Brayton shared a trifecta of stories today about Christian "persecution" in America. On the face, those claims, they are laughable. Digging deeper into those claims, they are still laughable.

Christianity is, by far, the largest majority in the United States. Among Christians, Evangelicals are the majority group. These are the ones, it seems, that claim to be persecuted more often than any other group, religious or otherwise. These are the people who pass laws solely based on their beliefs, trying to legislate their morality on everyone, regardless of what each persons beliefs might actually be. They then cry "PERSECUTION" when a person or group fights back against the tyrannical majority.

I have a dream. I have a dream that, someday, hoping beyond hope, that people can congregate in a place that is solely devoted to worship. I have a dream that, someday, people can confess to the world that they believe in God. I have a dream that, sometime in the distant future, perhaps a politician can profess his belief in the God of the Bible and actually get elected to office. I have a dream that, somehow, they will remove the laws that are on the books in seven states that prohibit believers from running for office.

Someday, perhaps, my dreams might become reality. Until then, I suppose Christians will continue to be persecuted.

If You Can't Stand The Heat...

With warming becoming the norm
we'll all have to weather the storm.
I was taken aback
when water that's fracked
is what Indians drank to keep warm.

In one of the most profoundly stupid things I've heard today, a Colorado state senator has come out and said that 'fracking', the act of hydraulically fracturing rock deposits to capture the trapped methane, is not only safe, but it is natural as well. Randy Baumgardner, it should surprise nobody, is a Republican. He was giving an interview to Gordon Klingenschmitt in Denver and said this:

“They talk about methane in the water and this, that, 

and the other, but if you go back in history and 

look at how the Indians traveled, they traveled to the

‘burning waters.’ And that was methane in the waters 

and that was for warmth in the wintertime.”

So...there it is then. He doesn't seem to adequately explain if they drank the water to stay warm or if they just caught it on fire and huddled around the flames.

Snip it in the Bud

Religions are stuck in a rut.
They're all full of regressive nuts.
They don't seem to care
'bout instances where
they get kids sick after they cut.

I have never tried to hide my feelings toward circumcision. I think it is an evil, barbaric practice that should be illegal in every civilized society. It should be looked down upon like most people look down on Female Genital Mutilation because, honestly, there is no difference between the two.

The Friendly Atheist shares a story about mohels, Jewish men and women trained to perform circumcisions. After performing the deed, they are required to draw blood from the wound. This is done by a suction device or, in Orthodox ceremonies, but the mohel sucking the blood away. With his mouth. On the penis of an infant.

Apart from the unsavory morality issues inherent with this, there are many medical complications that can arise. Infants, 8 days old as required by Jewish tradition, have contracted herpes as a direct result of this ritualistic disfigurement. Two babies have died.

The parents of children who have been given diseases by these practitioners have refused to name the mohels that got their children sick. New York City's health department has banned two mohels from performing circumcisions in NYC, but will not name them. Because, of course, we wouldn't want to prevent them from moving somewhere else and slicing up other infants.

This is, to me, just as disgusting and wrong-headed as the Catholic Church refusing to name priests who molested children.

What the Internet is For

When you understand your demography
just wants political pornography
and they find that his'try's
too much of a mys'try
don't think that they'll get geography

Why yes, I do have a punchable face

I am seriously starting to get confused as to whether or not right-wing are willfully ignorant, incredibly stupid, or just liars. I know, I know, it's probably all of them. Also, I should probably just stop reading the news.

Todd Rikita, a Republican (duh) Congressman from Indiana has said that the children coming to the US from Central American countries are carrying the Ebola virus. This is an incredibly stupid statement that is either a lie or shows a disturbing lack of knowledge of geography and medicine. A quick search would show that Central Africa, where Ebola is prevalent, is not near Central America, from where the children come.

The most likely answer is that he's pandering to his political base, spreading lies to ensure his re-election.

Laws and Suits

Won't do what you're hired to do?
Your priorities are all askew?
Does the president
cause you great torment?
Then you should prob'ly just sue.

It's my party, I'll cry if I want to.

The congressional vacation just started. 5 weeks of paid time off. A glorious time during which politicians work separating fools from their money, all to get elected again so they can keep separating fools from their money. Before they left Washington, however, they had a full slate of bills that required immediate attention.

They held a vote on whether or not to sue the President.

On a party line vote (which 5 Republicans voted with the Democrats), the House of Representatives voted to move forward with a lawsuit that will sue President Obama for issuing an executive order that relaxed some of the requirements on businesses under the Affordable Care Act.

What did they not vote on?

A transportation bill, that would provide funding for vital infrastructure projects.

An immigration/border bill, that would provide much needed funding to help relieve the humanitarian crisis of tens of thousands of children who make their way to the United States in order to flee violence in their Central American home countries.

But they did vote to sue the president for issuing an executive order, which has been done since George Washington was elected to be our first President.

The irony of this situation is that the Republicans, one day after voting to sue President Obama, asked that he issue an executive order to help resolve the border crisis.

It would be humorous if these people didn't have power.

Comforting

I'll tell you 'bout this guy named Ray
who keeps critical thinking at bay
He talks about how
we can't make a cow
as he brushes all science away.

Ray Comfort, known as The Banana Man, has been spouting idiocy for a very long time now. Recently, he has been lying for Jesus on Facebook with great frequency. I follow him because I find it amusing not only that someone would spew such vile garbage, but there appear to be a large number of followers who actually believe what he has to say.

Honestly, at this point, I am not sure what to believe about Mr. Comfort. Does he actually believe the things he says, or if he is just using the moronic postings to create controversy to feed his giant ego.

Not So Fresh

This is the story 'bout how
'Zona got flipped upside down.
They started a fight
to erase the rights
of students by forcing a vow.

Republicans in Arizona have submitted a bill that would make the following vow necessary for completion of High School in the state.

I, _________, DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES AGAINST ALL ENEMIES, FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC, THAT I WILL BEAR TRUE FAITH AND ALLEGIANCE TO THE SAME; THAT I TAKE THIS OBLIGATION FREELY, WITHOUT ANY MENTAL RESERVATION OR PURPOSE OF EVASION; AND THAT I WILL WELL AND FAITHFULLY DISCHARGE THESE DUTIES; SO HELP ME GOD.

There's no chance, of course, that this would pass any sort of constitutional muster. that doesn't matter to these people. They are more than willing to either make people lie or withhold their diplomas in order to force their theocratic idiocy onto the population.

I took an oath similar to this when I joined the military. I can understand that type of oath or affirmation when you are signing up to possibly kill or be killed for your country. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why they want to force children to swear this.

Political Science

Let's say that you wanted to be
on the right's "science" committee.
The first rule of thumb:
learn how to act dumb
and keep your opinions fact-free.

The Republicans in the House of Representatives have released the list of members who are on the House Science Committee, and the results would be amusing if it weren't so damned scary. Among those announced are two Representatives who have been covered here before, Phil Gingrey and Paul Broun.

These are the people who will be shaping science legislation for the next two years.

Yikes.

History Lessons

You'd think that some people would see
if they've read just a little hist'ry
it's not much to ask
they learn form the past
and stay away from all things Nazi.

Michael Savage is your typical right-wing radio host. He makes his money off of the frothing masses in the Tea Party, riling them to nearly boiling point. He took a dive into the deepest recesses of moronitude recently, when he suggested we should have an American equivalent of National Socialism.

"You have the rudiments of a new party in this country called a tea party. They need to restructure their party. They need a charismatic leader, which they don’t have."

"There are people so frustrated by the democracy that is gone in this country, the structure that has replaced our democracy is what I meant to say, that they would clamor for the new nationalist party."

“Nationalism is the only thing that can save America, and a new nationalist party that has a very strict firewall that does not permit the radical fringe of racism.”

 “Going forward we have to, I think on radio, continue to educate the audiences about nationalism and the importance of our nation and our nation’s sovereignty – borders, language, culture. Borders, language, culture – it defines every nation on the planet, the flag, the language, the borders. And what is it the internationalists do? They want to dissolve the borders, they want to introduce multiculturalism, they want to introduce a Tower of Babel of languages.”

I really do wish I was making this up. That way I wouldn't have to worry about this idiot and his followers.

Another Legitimate Limerick

Even though they've lost the fight
no one e'er said that they're bright.
But still these dumb clowns
are hanging around
and keep saying idiocy's right.

Months after Todd Akin lost his bid for a Senate bid in Missouri after making his "legitimate rape" comment, the stupidity has returned to center stage. Now Phil Gingrey, a Republican from Georgia, has double down on the moronic statements, coming out stating that Akin's statements were "partly right".

"I don’t find anything so horrible about that. But then he went on and said that in a situation of rape, of a legitimate rape, a woman’s body has a way of shutting down so the pregnancy would not occur. He’s partly right on that."

Which part, I wonder, was he right on?

The Other Grover

Norquist has said that it's wrong
to sing the "negotiate" song.
What *I* think is bad?
Republicans had
all sucked on this tea-bagger's bong.

So now Norquist changes the tune.
"Now negotiation's a boon!"
The irony's lost.
We all pay the cost.
But still people follow this loon.

Posted over at WWJTD.

Commanding

Want to treat people's souls well,
and keep them from going to hell?
Put the Commandments
on a monument.
Just make sure you know how to spell.

11. Thou shalt use a spellchecker.

Theoretically

Sometimes it is easy to tell
who is or not mentally well.
Just ask them and see
if it's just a theory
or lies straight from the pit of hell.

Sigh.

Paul Broun is a U.S. Congressman from Georgia. He is an M.D., and considers himself a scientist. He is also the chair of the House Science Committee. He is also an idiot.

During a speech delivered at Liberty Baptist Church in Hartwell, Georgia, he said a most astoundingly stupid thing:

"God's word is true. I've come to understand that. All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the big bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell"

This man is on the SCIENCE COMMITTEE! This person is in charge of legislation that helps determine the direction of science research in this country, and says such an abysmally ignorant thing, something which should disqualify him from that position.

He'll keep getting reelected, though. Republicans think education is a bad idea.

What Is Love?

This question might sound cynical,
or maybe too analytical.
I just want to know,
can somebody show:
Which type of family is biblical?

The president of Chik-Fil-A has come out swinging for the derp again, saying that the restaurant chain supports "biblical families"

Of course, marriage in the bible is a very nebulous concept, and the "values" for the family can be disturbing.

If You Can't Beat 'Em, Cheat 'Em

It happens so often, it's rote.
The right disenfranchises votes.
But they look like clowns:
Each law gets struck down.
Permit me to take time to gloat.

Throughout the country, Republican legislatures and governors have enacted laws that stifle voters. Under the guise of stopping voter fraud, these laws have the effect of preventing possibly thousands of legal voters from exercising their right and responsibility as a citizen, namely electing those people into office.

Luckily, we have the Constitution, as well as judges who support it. In Pennsylvania, the restrictive voter  ID law has been blocked from implementation, meaning it will not be in effect on Election Day. This follows a pattern emerging across the country.

Why did these laws become so popular recently? Republicans claim it is to suppress voter fraud. That claim is put to the lie, however, when you look at the actual numbers. Since 2000, only 13 people have been convicted of actual voter fraud. Out of the millions upon millions of votes cast, there have only been 13. Why then, all of a sudden, is this such a disastrous problem for our democracy and a dire threat to our freedoms?

In 2011, ALEC, a very far right "think tank", introduced draft legislation that has since been used in multiple states This group, almost single handedly, has tried to disenfranchise potentially millions of their fellow citizens. Any reasons as to why would be purely speculative, but most of the people who would lose the right to vote would most likely vote for a party other than the one they represent.

Voter registration fraud is a much more prevalent issue, and it is one which the Republicans have not at all been trying to stop. In 2008, the right accused ACORN of voter fraud. Some of the people who were paid by ACORN had submitted voter registrations which were fake, and were flagged by the organization as such before they were turned into state offices. The right pounced on this, saying that ACORN was purposefully attempting to falsify voting records in order to help Obama win the presidency.

That same issue has recently come back to bite the Republicans on the ass, as the Republican National Committee has paid millions of dollars to a company that has done precisely the thing of which ACORN was blamed, but neglected to inform the officials that their workers might have added some not quite real names.

Schadenfreude can be a wonderful thing.

The Unkindest Cut

Let's calm down and get a grip.
I'll give all of you a good tip:
It's a boy? Then rejoice
but leave it his choice.
Avoid giving your son the snip.

Today, the American Academy of Pediatrics released a statement stating that "Evaluation of current evidence indicates that the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks and that the procedure’s benefits justify access to this procedure for families who choose it." I scoured the technical report looking for which study might have led to this conclusion, but there were no references at all.

There was a study concerning circumcision in the news recently. This study was deeply flawed on many levels, flawed to the point that The Lancet refused to publish. This study seemed to show that, for a certain subset of men in Sub-Saharan Africa, circumcision reduced the rate at which they contracted HIV. There are many, many sites which point out the flaws in this study, but the biggest flaw, in my mind, is the fact that those males that were circumcised for the study were told to refrain from sexual activity for 6 weeks and, if they were to engage in sex, they should wear a condom. Uncircumcised men in the study were not given the same advice, which gave them 6 extra weeks of opportunities to contract a STD.

Where did we get this idea that baby boys should have their genitals mutilated on a regular basis? As a religious ritual, circumcision has been around for thousands of years. In the United  States, however, we have John Harvey Kellogg to thank for the popularization of the practice. Yeah, the same guy who brought us Corn Flakes and Grape Nuts was a proponent of slicing off a bit of a boy's junk on a regular basis. From Plain Facts for Old and Young:

A remedy which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision.

The soreness which continues for several weeks interrupts the practice, and if it had not previously become too firmly fixed, it may be forgotten and not resumed. If any attempt is made to watch the child, he should be so carefully surrounded by vigilance that he cannot possibly transgress without detection. If he is only partially watched, he soon learns to elude observation, and thus the effect is only to make him cunning in his vice.

There is, of course, no medical basis for this type of thinking. Just an idea that, by cutting a boy's foreskin off, he would be broken of the evil nasty habit of masturbation.

Here's my idea. If we are going to perform unnecessary medical procedures on newborns, let's make them count. The only medical reason for circumcision is the prevention of phimosis. Phimosis has never killed a person in the history of humanity. Appendicitis, however, can be fatal. I propose that each newborn child, not just boys here, let's be truly equal, receive an appendectomy. If people are going to say that there is a medical reason for circumcision then let us perform other procedures on newborns that might save their lives down the road.

Of course, if you are against the saving of a child's life, then just admit that circumcision is a religious and cultural idea, and let us lump it in with female genital mutilation and stop the procedure completely.

Born Free

Of everything on and off Earth
there are things that my time is worth.
This story's a bore.
Some things matter more
than the place of the President's birth.

Mitt Romney has finally embraced the crazy end of the Republican party. I know, I know, he's said some really stupid things since the primaries, but this one takes the proverbial cake.

"No one’s ever asked to see my birth certificate; they know that this is the place where both of us were born and raised."

His campaign has since tried to mitigate the idiocy, saying that “He’s illustrating that he was born and raised here in Michigan.”

If he's so proud of being from Michigan, why did he vehemently oppose the bailout of the auto industry?

Legitimate Limerick

Originally posted on Dispatches from the Culture Wars

Some things leave your mouth agape.
The bottom of barrels they’ll scrape.
It’s not a surprise
that Akin’s allies
defend his definition of rape.

Thus far I have stayed away from the idiocy that is Todd Akin. Akin is a Republican member of Congress from Missouri. He is currently running for the Senate against Democrat Claire McCaskill. On Sunday the 19th, Akin made one of the most profoundly stupid statements a politician has ever uttered:

“It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, 

that’s [pregnancy from rape] really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape,

the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."

I can kind of understand the "legitimate" part of the statement. I'm sure he meant "forcible", which is how he and Paul Ryan have tried to define rape under proposed laws. The "try to shut that whole thing down" starts with a complete lack of understanding of basic human physiology and continues with a healthy dose of misogyny. Because, of course, if a woman gets pregnant then it is not a real rape. Her body didn't shut down the pregnancy, therefore she either wanted it or enjoyed it, so therefore no rape was committed.

Bryan Fischer has come out in support of Akin, even as Republicans have pulled both verbal and monetary support from him and his campaign.

Deity Diet

If you eat your god like a roast,
like dry, dull and tasteless french toast,
make sure you don't slip
listen to this tip:
Make sure that you have the right host.

If you are Catholic, the ritualistic cannibalism is nothing new to you. Transubstantiation is the idea that, after the communion juice and crackers are blessed by the right magic words, they are turned into the literal blood and body of Jesus Christ. I touched on this earlier, concerning the passing of said deity. This post is not about that.

This post is about a little girl.

Allison Sisson has celiac disease, which prevents her from absorbing some essential nutrients and can cause abdominal distress and other issues. She is also a proud Catholic, and enjoys the ritualistic cannibalism that goes along with her beliefs. The normal cracker is just too wheaty for her, so her mother approached the priest with gluten-free crackers. The priest said that the snacks were hunky-dory, said the appropriate rites, and everything was fine.

Until the bishops got involved.

The one, true cracker is "wheat and wheat only", because "at the time, the bread was unleavened. It would have been basically wheat and water." Anything else would be uncivilized.

A day of infamy

As your voting base gets littler
and your mind becomes brittler
just rip out a page
of the Book of Rage
and say your opponent is Hitler.

Today, August 1st, 2012, is a banner day for women's health. Insurance companies cannot charge a copay for a wide range of preventative measures, including mammograms and birth control. These new guidelines don't help women who are not insured, but it's a start.

The Republicans have decided to take a completely different approach. By not requiring a co-pay, they argue, the government is attacking their First Amendment rights. Mike Kelly, a Pennsylvania Representative, spouted:

"I know in your mind you can think of times when America was attacked. One is December 7th, that's Pearl Harbor day.  The other is September 11th, and that's the day of the terrorist attack. I want you to remember August the 1st, 2012, the attack on our religious freedom. That is a day that will live in infamy, along with those other dates."

Not to be out-derped, New York Representative Ann Marie Buerkle babbled:

"August the 1st is a day that we as American will look at as the largest assault on our First Amendment rights."

I can understand their point. It's not like Jesus ever healed anyone without charging them.