Humor Is Simple

I could come at this many ways
and tell jokes for days upon days.
A sight to behold,
this headline is gold:
"Has Santorum Gone Soft On Gays?"

As I said, I am a HUGE fan of the Republicans. This is a real headline that was published by a reasonably well-respected online publication. Just think: If Santorum wasn't such a hateful person, we wouldn't have the alternate definition and this would be just another headline.

Penis goes where?

Not Safe For Work. Not Safe for LUNCH.

He really is a stupid lout
who's numbers, by now, should go south.
Looks like a chia,
he spews diarrhea
and thick santorum from his mouth.

Slick Dick Santorum has brought out the old, tired slippery slope argument again, saying if "anyone can marry anybody else...then everyone can marry several people." Although my wife and I are not choosing polyamory or polygamy, why should consenting adults be told what they can (or can't) do in their own homes?

I really am confused by the cognitive dissonance on the right. How can you claim to be for smaller government and in the next breath want the government in everyone's bedroom? It really is something only an Electric Monk could believe. But even the Monk's circuits might get overloaded by the level of idiocy exhibited by the current Republican party.

You can tell his family values him.

The "chia" rhyme is forced. I'm sorry for that.

Santorum Surges. The Mayans Were Right!

Santorum is having a surge.
In Iowa the derp has splurged.
He's come from the back
and now leads the pack
and my lunch is back on the verge.

The last time Santorum went out of control.

Rick Santorum is "surging" in the Iowa polls. Ick.

Santorum. It's What's For Dinner.

He breaks the bounds of decorum.
He's failed in the public forum.
He's a spineless skink.
Must be hard to think
with a head full of santorum.

Santorum. Now Santorum (the presidential candidate) wants Google to change their search results.