Political Dissent

Can't stand which way he might vote?
Don't care 'bout his rights, not a mote?
One thing that ought'll
silence him: A bottle.
Or just shove a rag down his throat.

Good old Ohio. Just when I jump on Texas for Republican idiocy, my home state roars right back, trying to take the lead in a horribly depressing race.

Mitt Romney was stumping in Parma on Thursday, July 5th. A couple of rabble-rousers were exercising their "god-given" First Amendment rights, shouting "Pawlenty, Go Home" as the Minnesota Governor was giving his speech at the Parma strip mall. A true patriot, named Richard Brysac, thought that the peaceful chanting had gone too far, had crossed a line that should never have been crossed. So Mr. Brysac acted in the most patriotic way he could.

He tried to silence a chanter by drowning him with bottled water. When that didn't work, Mr. Brysac took the next logical step. That step, of course, was gagging the chanter, Al Neal, with a balled up handkerchief.

When asked why he assaulted Mr. Neal, Mr. Brysac stated:

"He seemed thirsty, so I tried to shove the bottle in his mouth. I thought it was wrong to interfere with [Pawlenty's] freedom of speech."

He then added:

"I acted out of character and I apologize if I offended anyone."

No, you acted completely in character. Politics is taking an ugly, ugly turn in this country. I just hope the violence doesn't increase in the next four months. I also hope that people can accept the results peacefully, no matter which team wins.

Politics is a gentleman's game.

My Rowdy Friend

If Hank Williams Junior had sense,
he would work at mending this fence.
But sense he has spurned
and now he has learned
that an action has a consequence.

Oh, Hank. You so silly.

Pictured: jazz hands and fail

And I Thought She Was Just Stupid

She always seems good for a laugh.
Her wheat is much less than her chaff
Why'd she say what she said?
Not the air in her head!
It's not her fault Bachmann makes gaffes.

Michelle Bachmann blames her busy schedule for the verbal miscues she has been making. Not the fact, of course that she is not the brightest bulb on the tree.

Thanks For Everything, Jenny!

Jenny McCarthy was heeded.
Now vaccinations, though needed
have been eschewed.
Will illness ensue?
Her folly, it seems, has succeeded.

In Miami-Dade county they've got
a quarter, almost, kids un-shot.
The kids aren't to blame,
They're part of this game.
But they'll reap what their parents have bought.

23% That's how many children in Miami-Dade county have not been vaccinated prior to school starting. That number is disgusting, and all anti-vax people should be ashamed of themselves.

Decisions

Bachmann says she is God's fling,
'til Perry throws his hat in the ring
Which one is a fraud,
which one talks to God?
Which one's gonna lead the crazed-wing?

Sometimes rhymes can get lazy
when right-wing idiots make me hazy.
But if I had said
there's a voice in MY head
you'd all just say I'm fucking crazy.

Bachmann, by her own admission
to her husband has pledged submission.
If he would just ask
it would be her task
to get in her favorite position.

Rick Perry, I think, is just messin'
with our heads. He thinks he's a blessin'.
I think that y'all
should give him a call
and say we don't need a new Texan.

Michelle Bachmann has said that she allows her husband to make her decisions for her, just like any godly woman should. These, fairly major, decisions include her attending law school, when she admitted that she had no interest in law.

Rick Perry, the other insane fundamentalist, wrapped up an exclusionary and hypocritical prayer rally last weekend.. He has said that he will announce a time to schedule a press conference to announce a date that he will make an announcement.

Letter to the editor

A letter I wrote to the editors of The Columbus Dispatch

Editors,

Amidst all of the letters concerning the editorial written about John Freshwater, some seem to have missed the point completely. Yes, it was wrong of him to proselytize in the classroom, especially a science class that students are mandated to attend. Not one non-theist that I know would advocate leaving religion out of school, but it should be taught in an elective course, such as comparative mythology. They can spend a day on each of the creation myths from around the world, and hope that they can cover them all in one school year.

The biggest problem here is the branding. I can’t fathom the mindset of a person who would do such a thing. This is a person who took the teachings of his supposedly loving god, and twisted them to the point where it was okay, in his mind, to harm a child who believed in something different than him. That is not a free speech issue, it is a n issue of child abuse.I am left to wonder why he is not in prison, and the school board brought up on child endangerment charges for having let this go on for so long.

Richard Stage

Ken Ham is an Idiot!

Apparently, Ken Ham doesn't like being insulted. Well, Ken, don't be such a fucking idiot, and you won't get insulted nearly as often.

Ken Ham is an obnoxious twit
who's brain don't work even a bit.
My hypothesis is
that religion has
replaced all of his gray matter with shit.

I could say that you can see how he's
proof that we're descended from monkeys,
but that's not how it works
and that mind-addled jerk
is too stupid to come down from the trees.

If there is a god who controls weather,
and knows every bird and their feathers,
you'd think there had been
a better use for Ken's skin
than to hold his sorry ass together.

Our next president?

Though he's a mean, ornery cuss
and people would make a big fuss,
he'd still be the one
I'd vote for (if he'd run).
Dick Cheney! (Before he dicks us.)

Creationist mis-represents Darwin? Never!

Another from Pharyngula. I REALLY need a life.

These morons need taken to task,
and their stupidity needs unmasked.
If only they'd look
at what's inside the book.
But that might be too much to ask.

Race is a tough card to play.
One wrong move and you're out of the game.
But what Darwin meant
they will mis-represent
as they keep intelligence at bay.

If we all share the same earth and sky,
then why's hatred in oversupply?
Race, religion or creed
the last thing we need
is to hear all these Jesus freaks lie.

Don't just take this on my advice.
Think of how it could be paradise:
if we all give and get
just a little respect,
the best part - it's at such a low price.

Hoagland gets limericked

On the BA Blog

It seems Hoagland is at it again.
His stupidity hurts me, but then
when Phil's on the case
he'll have mud on his face
and slink silently back to his den.

I thought Miller was smarter than this.
I guess ratings are too good to miss.
It's easily solved
when money's involved.
So I guess all this crap will persist.

I hope you're not angry with me.
I've been a fan for a year (or three).
I hope that you're fine
that I dropped you a line
(and make sure you're not jealous of PZ).

Xian acting...blech

From Dispatches

Some Christians have made a new show
where the Atheists are really quite slow.
With men made of straw
the floor hurt my jaw
as their stupidity hit a new low.

I'm okay with satirical fun.
It can be funny if it's well done.
But when it's this bad
I wish that I had
an anti-stupidity gun.

Maybe when the next episode airs
they'll fix the scientific errors.
But, then, it seems
that would just leave
the credits, as if anyone cares.