See Dick. See Dick Run Away

He's leaving the stage in disgrace.
There's no way that he can save face.
The derp that he spewed
would leave us all screwed
Let's be glad he's out of the race.

Dammit all straight to the fiery pits of hell. Dick Perry, the biggest moron in the GOP race this year (and that's saying something), has dropped out of contention for the Republican nomination for president.

I has a sad.

That is sooo Takei.

Dick Perry Is At It Again

Climate Change, again on trial
because Dick is still in denial.
Scientists pull their names
because they have brains.
And Dick's is a steaming pile.

Every scientist associated with an environmental report have asked that their names be taken off that report after every reference to climate change and sea level rise were scrubbed by appointees of Dick Perry. They have gone from sticking their fingers in their ears going "la la la la" to actively lying to people about the science.

Great job, Dick.

Rhymes With "Diggerhead"

Dick Perry's problems get bigger.
Cain's campaign has pulled the trigger.
Can paint on a rock
help drop Perry's stock?
Depends how he is as a digger.

A hunting camp leased by Dick Perry's father, then by Dick himself, has a rock near the entrance. This rock was painted with the name of the camp, a name which is still used by locals.

The name of that hunting camp? "Niggerhead"

Perry has said that the camp's name is "an offensive name that has no place in the modern world." But, according to the Washington Post, the name, painted on a flat rock near the entrance to the camp, could still be made out.

Of course Dick Perry disputes the name for the camp, and says that the name was painted over in "1983 or 1984." This explains why it's now known locally as "Perryhead", right?

Dick Retracts Controversial Statement. News At 11.

Dick Perry said he misspoke
or maybe he suffered a srtoke
He acts so monstrous
and calls others heartless.
His campaign is such a joke.

Dick Perry, that slimy, pandering piece of scum has said that his remarks calling his opponents 'heartless' were inappropriate.

Who'd have thunk that he would try to retract a comment that turned off some of the Republican base?

How Can You Make Ends Meet When You Can't See Them?

You feel like you have little power
as you look up at their gilded tower.
You let slip a sigh
and try to get by:
Surviving on nine bucks an hour.

You try hard to make both ends meet.
You can't? Then you're out on the street.
So force on a grin
and go out again
and don't let the world know you're beat.

Minimum wage has been getting a lot of press recently, because of Dick Perry's claims that he created sooo many jobs in Texas, without regard to the pay. We've had to make some of these same choices, even recently, and it really sucks to have to choose between a week's meals or a doctor's appointment. Both parents working doesn't get much better, because the cost of childcare quickly eats up any additional income.

Life is difficult, and we don't need politicians making it harder for those of us with little means.

Now you can play a little game, and see what it's like.

Hat tip

Why Does Dick Hate Chicks?

"Love Thy Neighbor" says the Christian
It's not a rule they keep hidden.
But the evidence
is his arrogance:
It's clear that Dick Perry hates women.

If he doesn't hate women, he holds them in the deepest disdain. Why else would he cut health care for women?

And please don't take "chicks" in the headline as an insult. I mean nothing ill by it.

See Dick. See Dick Get Bought Out.

What comprises Dick Perry's soul?
A darkness, worse than a black hole.
When requiring
the vaccinating
It seems that he was on Merck's dole.

Oh, Dick. We knew he was a lying, hateful, hypocritical, murderous, AGW denying, creationist jackass, who would do anything for a vote. But now it appears that his campaign took money from the company that created the Gardasil vaccine. The same vaccine that, through an executive order, he required all girls 12 and older to receive. On top of that, his chief of staff left to become Merck's main lobbyist to the governor.

This isn't just fishy. This is cronyism, bribery, and completely antithetical to democracy.

Perry Fiddled, Now Texas Burns

The only thing growing in drought?
Wildfires burning about.
Send prayers to the sky?
Texas stays bone dry.
With Jesus he has little clout.

Trying to water with prayer, he
might as well wish on a fairy.
But he never learns
as his home state burns:
Brought to you by Dick Prayer-ee.

In April, Dick Perry prayed that the drought in Texas would end. In May, Texas had plans to cut the state budget by $34 million, including the budget of the Texas Forest Service, the agency that is currently battling the wildfires plaguing the state. That budget went into effect September 1st, as fires raged out of control. Almost immediately after proposing that budget, Dick Perry begged the federal government for $52.5 million dollars to cover the cost of fighting the fires. I guess government expenditure is bad, except when it can help him.

They did, however, add a $40 million "rainy day fund", that they can use to pay one time costs. That will not help them in the future, though. Awesome planning from someone who thinks he should lead the whole country.

Great job, Dick.

Herpa Derpa Dicky Doo

Though he has just started his run
it's clear that all facts he will shun.
and his campaign herped
so hard that it derped.
Dick Perry will stick to his guns.

Dick Perry has said that he will stand by the inane and utterly anti-factual comments he has made recently.

A limerickist could make a career off this guy.

More Dick!

Though he's a mean, hateful cuss,
and right-minded people will fuss,
he didn't end the drought
but let there be no doubt.
Dick Perry! (before he dicks us)


Yep, this is a re-jiggering of my 2008 Dick Cheney limerick.

Vote For Dick!

Sure he's exclusionary.
And quite reactionary.
When ballots are out
make sure there's no doubt.
Give Dick Perry your vote...tionary

Yes, I know he prefers to go by Rick. No, I do not give a flying fuck. Anyone born with the name Richard knows that being called Dick comes with the name. Most of my childhood was spent fighting people who called me anything other than Richard. Except, of course, that period in the mid '80s when I wanted to be called Ricky, and dreamt that Toni Basil was singing to me. But that is another, much more disturbing story.

The point here is that Dick Perry is an exclusionary asshole, a Dominionist fuckwad, and all-around bad person.