Though he's a mean, hateful cuss,
and right-minded people will fuss,
he didn't end the drought
but let there be no doubt.
Dick Perry! (before he dicks us)
Yep, this is a re-jiggering of my 2008 Dick Cheney limerick.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Vote For Dick!
Sure he's exclusionary.
And quite reactionary.
When ballots are out
make sure there's no doubt.
Give Dick Perry your vote...tionary
Yes, I know he prefers to go by Rick. No, I do not give a flying fuck. Anyone born with the name Richard knows that being called Dick comes with the name. Most of my childhood was spent fighting people who called me anything other than Richard. Except, of course, that period in the mid '80s when I wanted to be called Ricky, and dreamt that Toni Basil was singing to me. But that is another, much more disturbing story.
The point here is that Dick Perry is an exclusionary asshole, a Dominionist fuckwad, and all-around bad person.
And quite reactionary.
When ballots are out
make sure there's no doubt.
Give Dick Perry your vote...tionary
Yes, I know he prefers to go by Rick. No, I do not give a flying fuck. Anyone born with the name Richard knows that being called Dick comes with the name. Most of my childhood was spent fighting people who called me anything other than Richard. Except, of course, that period in the mid '80s when I wanted to be called Ricky, and dreamt that Toni Basil was singing to me. But that is another, much more disturbing story.
The point here is that Dick Perry is an exclusionary asshole, a Dominionist fuckwad, and all-around bad person.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Now with REAL PICTURES!
He just made his candidacy clear.
The others try to hide their fear.
The fundies are wowed.
If you look o'er the clouds
you can see Perry's numbers from here.
I'm not a fan of Rick Perry. Not even a little bit. I saw this picture on MSNBC and the limerick almost wrote itself. There will be Perry limericks aplenty once he oficially makes the announcement that he is going to announce his candidacy.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
No Limerick Today.
Sometimes I don't know what to say.
Sometimes the world gets in the way.
I'll just spill the beans
and say what this means:
There'll be no new limerick today!
Sometimes the world gets in the way.
I'll just spill the beans
and say what this means:
There'll be no new limerick today!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Shocking
Storm's coming in, you're outside?
Head into the house - run and hide!
That's what poor Fred did,
he ran and he hid
but found himself electrified
Poor Fred Waters. Standing in his home, enjoying a passing summer storm, then lightning hits him. Is no place safe from the evils of nature?
Head into the house - run and hide!
That's what poor Fred did,
he ran and he hid
but found himself electrified
Poor Fred Waters. Standing in his home, enjoying a passing summer storm, then lightning hits him. Is no place safe from the evils of nature?
Opportunity
Not quite a walk through the clover
Thirty-two kilometers passed over.
The tough little tater
found Endeavor Crater.
We're all proud of that little rover.
With daring ingenuity
and engineering acuity
NASA's given us
a sturdy l'il cuss-
the Amazing Opportunity!
After three years on Mars, NASA reports that the rover Opportunity has reached Spirit Point, named after its sister rover. Spirit's mission was officially declared over in May, 2010, yet Opportunity chugs on.
Thirty-two kilometers passed over.
The tough little tater
found Endeavor Crater.
We're all proud of that little rover.
With daring ingenuity
and engineering acuity
NASA's given us
a sturdy l'il cuss-
the Amazing Opportunity!
After three years on Mars, NASA reports that the rover Opportunity has reached Spirit Point, named after its sister rover. Spirit's mission was officially declared over in May, 2010, yet Opportunity chugs on.
Dinner
Obama and two NFL stars
will share a nice meal for Iftar.
This breaking of bread
explodes fundie heads
The responses are sad and bizarre
President Obama is hosting the annual Iftar dinner, featuring NFL stars, and brothers Hamza and Husain (Go Vikings!) Abdullah. The rhetoric from the loonie fringe has been predictable. Because, they say, Obama is hosting a dinner for a Muslim event, he must be a Muslim himself!
Since the tradition was instituted under former President Bush, that means, following their logic, that Bush was a Muslim also! That explains why he never got Bin Laden! But wait, Obama got Bin Laden, and he is a super-sekrit muslim usurper.
I confused myself.
will share a nice meal for Iftar.
This breaking of bread
explodes fundie heads
The responses are sad and bizarre
President Obama is hosting the annual Iftar dinner, featuring NFL stars, and brothers Hamza and Husain (Go Vikings!) Abdullah. The rhetoric from the loonie fringe has been predictable. Because, they say, Obama is hosting a dinner for a Muslim event, he must be a Muslim himself!
Since the tradition was instituted under former President Bush, that means, following their logic, that Bush was a Muslim also! That explains why he never got Bin Laden! But wait, Obama got Bin Laden, and he is a super-sekrit muslim usurper.
I confused myself.
Decisions
Bachmann says she is God's fling,
'til Perry throws his hat in the ring
Which one is a fraud,
which one talks to God?
Which one's gonna lead the crazed-wing?
Sometimes rhymes can get lazy
when right-wing idiots make me hazy.
But if I had said
there's a voice in MY head
you'd all just say I'm fucking crazy.
Bachmann, by her own admission
to her husband has pledged submission.
If he would just ask
it would be her task
to get in her favorite position.
Rick Perry, I think, is just messin'
with our heads. He thinks he's a blessin'.
I think that y'all
should give him a call
and say we don't need a new Texan.
Michelle Bachmann has said that she allows her husband to make her decisions for her, just like any godly woman should. These, fairly major, decisions include her attending law school, when she admitted that she had no interest in law.
Rick Perry, the other insane fundamentalist, wrapped up an exclusionary and hypocritical prayer rally last weekend.. He has said that he will announce a time to schedule a press conference to announce a date that he will make an announcement.
'til Perry throws his hat in the ring
Which one is a fraud,
which one talks to God?
Which one's gonna lead the crazed-wing?
Sometimes rhymes can get lazy
when right-wing idiots make me hazy.
But if I had said
there's a voice in MY head
you'd all just say I'm fucking crazy.
Bachmann, by her own admission
to her husband has pledged submission.
If he would just ask
it would be her task
to get in her favorite position.
Rick Perry, I think, is just messin'
with our heads. He thinks he's a blessin'.
I think that y'all
should give him a call
and say we don't need a new Texan.
Michelle Bachmann has said that she allows her husband to make her decisions for her, just like any godly woman should. These, fairly major, decisions include her attending law school, when she admitted that she had no interest in law.
Rick Perry, the other insane fundamentalist, wrapped up an exclusionary and hypocritical prayer rally last weekend.. He has said that he will announce a time to schedule a press conference to announce a date that he will make an announcement.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Daisies
When you're belly up like a cod
In a hole, 6 by 3 'neath the sod
when your last synapse
has finally collapsed
it won't matter if you worshiped a god.
The basics of this limerick came to me in that hazy fog of half-sleep. I'm not sure my brain and I get along anymore.
In a hole, 6 by 3 'neath the sod
when your last synapse
has finally collapsed
it won't matter if you worshiped a god.
The basics of this limerick came to me in that hazy fog of half-sleep. I'm not sure my brain and I get along anymore.
Monday, August 8, 2011
A New BFF
My newest best friend's Jenny Beth.
Tea Party Patriots head douchette
But it's patriotic
and not idiotic
To owe the IRS a huge debt.
So, Jenny Beth Martin is the head of the Tea Party Patriots, one of the groups responsible for nearly shutting down the government because of the debt ceiling debacle. Apparently, she owes the IRS nearly $700,000 in back taxes for a failed business. As the business was failing, she and her husband increased revenue to save it. No, sorry, they increased their debt by way of credit cards. I guess increasing a debt limit is always bad, except for when it isn't.
Oh yeah, she also makes $6,000 per month for being the head of the TPP. $72,000 each year for preaching at people that the government has to be fiscally responsible, yet she claims she can't afford to buy a car. So she uses a $27/day rental. $810 is a lot of money for not being able to afford a car payment.
My advice to Jenny Beth? Stop being hypocritical, stop telling your followers to hold the country hostage, stop telling people that compromise is a dirty word, and stop putting your politics over the good of the entire country.
Tea Party Patriots head douchette
But it's patriotic
and not idiotic
To owe the IRS a huge debt.
So, Jenny Beth Martin is the head of the Tea Party Patriots, one of the groups responsible for nearly shutting down the government because of the debt ceiling debacle. Apparently, she owes the IRS nearly $700,000 in back taxes for a failed business. As the business was failing, she and her husband increased revenue to save it. No, sorry, they increased their debt by way of credit cards. I guess increasing a debt limit is always bad, except for when it isn't.
Oh yeah, she also makes $6,000 per month for being the head of the TPP. $72,000 each year for preaching at people that the government has to be fiscally responsible, yet she claims she can't afford to buy a car. So she uses a $27/day rental. $810 is a lot of money for not being able to afford a car payment.
My advice to Jenny Beth? Stop being hypocritical, stop telling your followers to hold the country hostage, stop telling people that compromise is a dirty word, and stop putting your politics over the good of the entire country.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Knitting
Each month, the first Sunday's exciting.
An event that is oh so delighting.
I spend time with my chicks
who show me new tricks,
and have always been very inviting.
The first Sunday of every month has become a special time for me. Because of medical issues, I don't have many opportunities to do much socializing. When I leave the house, it is for an appointment or to go to the store. But the first Sunday, I get to knit. It might not sound like much, but I really enjoy the Central Ohioans for Rational Inquiry Skeptical Crochet and Knitting Circle.
Thanks, ladies, for making this guy feel welcome.
An event that is oh so delighting.
I spend time with my chicks
who show me new tricks,
and have always been very inviting.
The first Sunday of every month has become a special time for me. Because of medical issues, I don't have many opportunities to do much socializing. When I leave the house, it is for an appointment or to go to the store. But the first Sunday, I get to knit. It might not sound like much, but I really enjoy the Central Ohioans for Rational Inquiry Skeptical Crochet and Knitting Circle.
Thanks, ladies, for making this guy feel welcome.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Orange
Goo washes in off the sea.
No one knows what it could be.
It's oily and orange
like a rusty door hinge.
Or just like American Cheese.
Hah!
CNN reports on a strange substance that washed up on the shores of a village in Alaska.
Thanks for the link, Cuttlefish.
UPDATE: Scientific American reports that the orange goo is crustacean egg mass. Scrambled.
No one knows what it could be.
It's oily and orange
like a rusty door hinge.
Or just like American Cheese.
Hah!
CNN reports on a strange substance that washed up on the shores of a village in Alaska.
Thanks for the link, Cuttlefish.
UPDATE: Scientific American reports that the orange goo is crustacean egg mass. Scrambled.
Friday, August 5, 2011
My new pal
I met a new friend, name of Sandy.
She hates it when people get randy.
The problem is she's
getting down on her knees.
Which her invisible friend thinks is dandy.
Think Progress spins a tale of idiocy, where a female pundit compares necessary medical coverage to manicures and pedicures. I wonder what happened to her, that she hates the rest of her gender. That's the only reason I could think of for that level of stupid. I guess it could also be money.
Hat tip to Ed Brayton
She hates it when people get randy.
The problem is she's
getting down on her knees.
Which her invisible friend thinks is dandy.
Think Progress spins a tale of idiocy, where a female pundit compares necessary medical coverage to manicures and pedicures. I wonder what happened to her, that she hates the rest of her gender. That's the only reason I could think of for that level of stupid. I guess it could also be money.
Hat tip to Ed Brayton
Thursday, August 4, 2011
On Aviating Suidae
"Evolution? Bah, when pigs fly!"
AiG says, with fire in eye.
"You can't add info
to ANY gene's code!
Man from monkeys? Biology's lie!"
Of course certain processes do
change a gene's codes through and through.
But that takes an act
of reason and facts.
Not Jesus, or Odin, or Q.
PZ posted about how AiG has disproven evolution, or whatever it is that AiG claimed they did.
AiG says, with fire in eye.
"You can't add info
to ANY gene's code!
Man from monkeys? Biology's lie!"
Of course certain processes do
change a gene's codes through and through.
But that takes an act
of reason and facts.
Not Jesus, or Odin, or Q.
PZ posted about how AiG has disproven evolution, or whatever it is that AiG claimed they did.
Sense
Some people might find it odd
that there just aren't many new jobs.
But it makes perfect sense,
in dollars and cents,
as businesses love their true god.
This one might seem a bit derivative of "Perfect Sense", by Roger Waters, but he was referring specifically to churches bilking the believers. Besides, it is a universal theme.
MSNBC, again. Basically, companies have no incentive to hire more people, so we suffer as corporations rake in record setting profits. GM has doubled profits, and new hires aren't coming. But rolling back the Bush tax cuts will cause jobs to be destroyed.
that there just aren't many new jobs.
But it makes perfect sense,
in dollars and cents,
as businesses love their true god.
This one might seem a bit derivative of "Perfect Sense", by Roger Waters, but he was referring specifically to churches bilking the believers. Besides, it is a universal theme.
MSNBC, again. Basically, companies have no incentive to hire more people, so we suffer as corporations rake in record setting profits. GM has doubled profits, and new hires aren't coming. But rolling back the Bush tax cuts will cause jobs to be destroyed.
Money? Get back.
The rich are just better than we.
A glimpse at the news and you'll see.
The courts are okay
with this pay-to-play.
I guess it pays to be wealthy.
MSNBC reports on a corporation forming, donating $1M to Romney's campaign, then dissolving, thereby hiding all traces of where the money came from. This is what happens when political donations are ruled to be free speech, and then that free speech coverage is extended to corporations.
A glimpse at the news and you'll see.
The courts are okay
with this pay-to-play.
I guess it pays to be wealthy.
MSNBC reports on a corporation forming, donating $1M to Romney's campaign, then dissolving, thereby hiding all traces of where the money came from. This is what happens when political donations are ruled to be free speech, and then that free speech coverage is extended to corporations.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
New Moon
To explain the moon's odd far side
a new hypothesis has been derived.
It's new 'neath the sun:
Two moons became one.
Wreaking havoc with early Earth's tides.
LA Times has the story of the new hypothesis. I was under the impression that calculations proved that the Moon was spun of the Earth after a collision of a Mars-sized planetoid. That explained the larger iron core of the Earth and the increased regolith and smaller core of the Moon.
a new hypothesis has been derived.
It's new 'neath the sun:
Two moons became one.
Wreaking havoc with early Earth's tides.
LA Times has the story of the new hypothesis. I was under the impression that calculations proved that the Moon was spun of the Earth after a collision of a Mars-sized planetoid. That explained the larger iron core of the Earth and the increased regolith and smaller core of the Moon.
Ode to Cuttlefish
Where have I seen this before?
Skeptical limericks? For sure!
'Tis a mighty fine thought,
and I'm glad that it caught.
But now, you know THIS MEANS WAR!
I was a little upset once Cuttlefish started posting his daily limericks, but quickly realized that was childish. I'll just do them better :-)
Skeptical limericks? For sure!
'Tis a mighty fine thought,
and I'm glad that it caught.
But now, you know THIS MEANS WAR!
I was a little upset once Cuttlefish started posting his daily limericks, but quickly realized that was childish. I'll just do them better :-)
Friday, July 8, 2011
On Circles and Space.
30 years ago, living in Hawaii, my father woke me up at an hour I did not realize existed at that tender age. A momentous thing was about to happen, a thing which has stuck with me these long, long years. In the morning sun, half a world away, the Space Shuttle Columbia hung on the launch pad. Today, on a gloomy Ohio morning, I sit with my own children to watch the final launch of the Space Shuttle program.
Circle of life and all that, I suppose.
Circle of life and all that, I suppose.
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