After we vote they'll be cryin',
because we ain't buyin' their lyin'.
Mitt Romney's veep pick
is thick as a brick
He won't win the race 'cause of Ryan.
Mitt Romney has hit derp factor 9, choosing Wisconsin Republican Congressman Paul Ryan to be his running mate heading in to the Presidential election in November. Paul Ryan had become well known for his budget that would have gutted Medicare, while raising taxes on the lowest wage earners and cutting trillions in taxes from the richest Americans.
Some have said the Rep. Ryan is the smartest guy on the Republican's side. I'm not sure what that says about the right, but Ryan is what a stupid person would think a smart person would sound like.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
A day of infamy
As your voting base gets littler
and your mind becomes brittler
just rip out a page
of the Book of Rage
and say your opponent is Hitler.
Today, August 1st, 2012, is a banner day for women's health. Insurance companies cannot charge a copay for a wide range of preventative measures, including mammograms and birth control. These new guidelines don't help women who are not insured, but it's a start.
The Republicans have decided to take a completely different approach. By not requiring a co-pay, they argue, the government is attacking their First Amendment rights. Mike Kelly, a Pennsylvania Representative, spouted:
and your mind becomes brittler
just rip out a page
of the Book of Rage
and say your opponent is Hitler.
Today, August 1st, 2012, is a banner day for women's health. Insurance companies cannot charge a copay for a wide range of preventative measures, including mammograms and birth control. These new guidelines don't help women who are not insured, but it's a start.
The Republicans have decided to take a completely different approach. By not requiring a co-pay, they argue, the government is attacking their First Amendment rights. Mike Kelly, a Pennsylvania Representative, spouted:
"I know in your mind you can think of times when America was attacked. One is December 7th, that's Pearl Harbor day. The other is September 11th, and that's the day of the terrorist attack. I want you to remember August the 1st, 2012, the attack on our religious freedom. That is a day that will live in infamy, along with those other dates."
Not to be out-derped, New York Representative Ann Marie Buerkle babbled:
"August the 1st is a day that we as American will look at as the largest assault on our First Amendment rights."
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Belief
Things sure do seem evident:
Religion is less relevant.
A new poll is out
that gives cause to shout:
Believers are less confident.
Gallup has released the results of a poll recently. Although, in America, 83.1% are believers, only 44% of Americans are confident in church/organized religion.
I wonder if it could be a message issue.
Religion is less relevant.
A new poll is out
that gives cause to shout:
Believers are less confident.
Gallup has released the results of a poll recently. Although, in America, 83.1% are believers, only 44% of Americans are confident in church/organized religion.
I wonder if it could be a message issue.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Laws Are Made To Be Broken
Intelligence they will insult
because they don't think like adults.
If they did not know,
then this goes to show:
Actions will lead to results.
One thing that I learned as a child is, when I do something, something else happens. Later on in my life I found out this was codified as Newton's Third Law of Motion. From the Wiki:
If you do something, something else happens. Simple, right?
because they don't think like adults.
If they did not know,
then this goes to show:
Actions will lead to results.
One thing that I learned as a child is, when I do something, something else happens. Later on in my life I found out this was codified as Newton's Third Law of Motion. From the Wiki:
"Law III: To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies on each other are always equal and are directed in opposite directions."
Unless, of course, you are in Florida.
A bill passed by the Florida legislature and signed into law by Gov. Rick Scott mandated the closing of the A.G. Holley State Hospital in Lantana. This hospital was opened in 1950 to service tuberculosis patients in the state. You can guess what happens, can't you?
The state of Florida is undergoing what a CDC official has called the "worst TB outbreak in 20 years". I know that the closing of the state's last hospital to treat serious cases of TB did not cause the outbreak, but so far 13 people have died because there is no place for those cases to be treated, and it is unknown how many cases there might be.
Put public health at risk, causing people to die and putting everyone else at serious risk to save some money? Sounds like a reasonable course of action to me.
As an aside, I would like to admit, for the record, that I am a living testament to Newton's First Law of Motion. When I am at rest, I will stay at rest until acted upon by an outside force. Usually my wife.
I'm not lazy. I am deeply casual.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Sunday's Best, July 8
As we meander life's road,
each burdened by our own load,
as some have now learned:
to yourself be concerned.
Don't inflict on others YOUR code.
A new thing I want to try is what I am calling Sunday's Best. I have written a lot of limericks about the idiocy of the religious people in America, and I think I should point out some of the not-as-hateful believers.
Today's entry is Alan Chambers, leader of Exodus International. Exodus International was founded in 1976 as a ministry seeking to limit same-sex feelings in homosexuals. Alan Chambers has recently said that "reperative therapy", the idea that you can "cure" homosexuality is wrong, and Exodus International, a one time proponent of the "treatment", will no longer support such programs. He said that such treatments offer gays false hope, and may even be harmful. Exodus International has lost 11 ministries after Mr. Chambers made his statement.
I talk quite a bit about the idiocy of believers. I feel that Alan Chambers believes quite a number of extraordinarily silly things, but now there is a little less hatred being taught in the world
each burdened by our own load,
as some have now learned:
to yourself be concerned.
Don't inflict on others YOUR code.
A new thing I want to try is what I am calling Sunday's Best. I have written a lot of limericks about the idiocy of the religious people in America, and I think I should point out some of the not-as-hateful believers.
Today's entry is Alan Chambers, leader of Exodus International. Exodus International was founded in 1976 as a ministry seeking to limit same-sex feelings in homosexuals. Alan Chambers has recently said that "reperative therapy", the idea that you can "cure" homosexuality is wrong, and Exodus International, a one time proponent of the "treatment", will no longer support such programs. He said that such treatments offer gays false hope, and may even be harmful. Exodus International has lost 11 ministries after Mr. Chambers made his statement.
I talk quite a bit about the idiocy of believers. I feel that Alan Chambers believes quite a number of extraordinarily silly things, but now there is a little less hatred being taught in the world
Friday, July 6, 2012
Taxing My Patience
It seems, at times, their thoughts are lax.
They can't seem to marshal the facts.
Though his thoughts seem strewn
Bryan Fischer's a loon:
He says "Go to church or be taxed."
I wish, from time to time, that I was more prone to use hyperbole as a rhetorical device. Sometimes it does appear that way, as I post the idiocy and drivel that comes my way. But this...this is a new brand of stupid, the likes of which I have not seen, and I have read a Ray Comfort book.
Bryan Fischer, of the American Family Association, came right out and said that if you do not go to church, then you should have to pay a tax.
No word yet on if a mosque or temple are allowed.
They can't seem to marshal the facts.
Though his thoughts seem strewn
Bryan Fischer's a loon:
He says "Go to church or be taxed."
I wish, from time to time, that I was more prone to use hyperbole as a rhetorical device. Sometimes it does appear that way, as I post the idiocy and drivel that comes my way. But this...this is a new brand of stupid, the likes of which I have not seen, and I have read a Ray Comfort book.
Bryan Fischer, of the American Family Association, came right out and said that if you do not go to church, then you should have to pay a tax.
No word yet on if a mosque or temple are allowed.
Eight Years Plus Job
Drive drunk and injure two men?
Go to jail, but what happens then?
The man in his robe
assigns the Book of Job.
Don't pass Go, just shout "Amen"!
The Constitution be damned, we're gonna start assigning Bible study as part of our punishment now!
Go to jail, but what happens then?
The man in his robe
assigns the Book of Job.
Don't pass Go, just shout "Amen"!
The Constitution be damned, we're gonna start assigning Bible study as part of our punishment now!
Political Dissent
Can't stand which way he might vote?
Don't care 'bout his rights, not a mote?
One thing that ought'll
silence him: A bottle.
Or just shove a rag down his throat.
Good old Ohio. Just when I jump on Texas for Republican idiocy, my home state roars right back, trying to take the lead in a horribly depressing race.
Mitt Romney was stumping in Parma on Thursday, July 5th. A couple of rabble-rousers were exercising their "god-given" First Amendment rights, shouting "Pawlenty, Go Home" as the Minnesota Governor was giving his speech at the Parma strip mall. A true patriot, named Richard Brysac, thought that the peaceful chanting had gone too far, had crossed a line that should never have been crossed. So Mr. Brysac acted in the most patriotic way he could.
He tried to silence a chanter by drowning him with bottled water. When that didn't work, Mr. Brysac took the next logical step. That step, of course, was gagging the chanter, Al Neal, with a balled up handkerchief.
When asked why he assaulted Mr. Neal, Mr. Brysac stated:
He then added:
Don't care 'bout his rights, not a mote?
One thing that ought'll
silence him: A bottle.
Or just shove a rag down his throat.
Good old Ohio. Just when I jump on Texas for Republican idiocy, my home state roars right back, trying to take the lead in a horribly depressing race.
Mitt Romney was stumping in Parma on Thursday, July 5th. A couple of rabble-rousers were exercising their "god-given" First Amendment rights, shouting "Pawlenty, Go Home" as the Minnesota Governor was giving his speech at the Parma strip mall. A true patriot, named Richard Brysac, thought that the peaceful chanting had gone too far, had crossed a line that should never have been crossed. So Mr. Brysac acted in the most patriotic way he could.
He tried to silence a chanter by drowning him with bottled water. When that didn't work, Mr. Brysac took the next logical step. That step, of course, was gagging the chanter, Al Neal, with a balled up handkerchief.
When asked why he assaulted Mr. Neal, Mr. Brysac stated:
"He seemed thirsty, so I tried to shove the bottle in his mouth. I thought it was wrong to interfere with [Pawlenty's] freedom of speech."
"I acted out of character and I apologize if I offended anyone."
No, you acted completely in character. Politics is taking an ugly, ugly turn in this country. I just hope the violence doesn't increase in the next four months. I also hope that people can accept the results peacefully, no matter which team wins.
 |
| Politics is a gentleman's game. |
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Freedom Train Coming Through
Let ev'ry young girl and boy
learn how to shout it with joy!
Raise your voices high,
let them reach the sky!
Freedom, Freedom, Freedom, OI!
learn how to shout it with joy!
Raise your voices high,
let them reach the sky!
Freedom, Freedom, Freedom, OI!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Burning Stupidity
Sometimes news leaves me at a loss.
We need to skim off all this dross.
You know things aren't right
if you just want whites
and then plan on burning a cross.
A church in Alabama is sponsoring a conference scheduled to begin on the 4th of July, running through to Friday the 6th. Inviting "All White Christians", they have a "sacred Christian cross lighting ceremony" event on Friday evening.
In Alabama. Burning a cross.
Yikes.
We need to skim off all this dross.
You know things aren't right
if you just want whites
and then plan on burning a cross.
A church in Alabama is sponsoring a conference scheduled to begin on the 4th of July, running through to Friday the 6th. Inviting "All White Christians", they have a "sacred Christian cross lighting ceremony" event on Friday evening.
In Alabama. Burning a cross.
Yikes.
Monday, July 2, 2012
I'm An Amapist.
No matter where you might go,
through the heat, rain or snow,
just ignore their pap.
Don't believe their maps:
There's no such place as Idaho.
It's true. There is no such place as Idaho. "Idaho" is conceived by and foisted upon us by evil mapists, who needed to invent a mythical land in order to extort money from us, the normal people, in order to support Big Potato.
Maps are lies. Montana goes directly into Washington and Oregon. Anyone who says they have actually entered that mythical place known as "Idaho" is lying. They are mapists in the pocket of Big Potato, and anything they say about any subject can be dismissed with a slow shaking of your head, signifying the pity you feel for one who can believe such a silly idea.
through the heat, rain or snow,
just ignore their pap.
Don't believe their maps:
There's no such place as Idaho.
It's true. There is no such place as Idaho. "Idaho" is conceived by and foisted upon us by evil mapists, who needed to invent a mythical land in order to extort money from us, the normal people, in order to support Big Potato.
Maps are lies. Montana goes directly into Washington and Oregon. Anyone who says they have actually entered that mythical place known as "Idaho" is lying. They are mapists in the pocket of Big Potato, and anything they say about any subject can be dismissed with a slow shaking of your head, signifying the pity you feel for one who can believe such a silly idea.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Take The Plunge
I've got a tip for you, Rand:
Don't say such dumb things offhand.
Leave thoughts to those who's
ideas aren't so skewed
and just keep your head in the sand.
Rand Paul, dentist/senator/constitutional lawyer/historian extraordinaire has taken a plunge off the derp end after the Supreme Court ruling on the Affordable Care Act. In a statement so lacking in forethought, he said something so inane that it is scarcely believable a person could have made it and still have brainpower to breath.
Don't say such dumb things offhand.
Leave thoughts to those who's
ideas aren't so skewed
and just keep your head in the sand.
Rand Paul, dentist/senator/constitutional lawyer/historian extraordinaire has taken a plunge off the derp end after the Supreme Court ruling on the Affordable Care Act. In a statement so lacking in forethought, he said something so inane that it is scarcely believable a person could have made it and still have brainpower to breath.
“Just because a couple people on the Supreme Court declare
something to be ‘constitutional’ does not make it so.
The whole thing remains unconstitutional."
Yeah, Rand. That's precisely what it means. If the Supreme Court rules it constitutional, according to the what is written in the CONSTITUTION, it is constitutional.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
A New Low
If you've bid intelligence adieu,
and think that our progress is through
let your mind decay
just kneel down and pray:
"Today I will learn nothing new!"
This was going to be just a one-off limerick, something that has been buzzing around in my skull for a couple of days that I had to get out. The idea that "I will learn nothing new today" seems to be a motto of right-wing kooks, something that they adhere to but never actually say out loud.
Until now.
Yesterday, the platform of the Texas GOP was released (PDF), and it has some horribly regressive gems in it. The kicker has got to be this sparkling turd:
and think that our progress is through
let your mind decay
just kneel down and pray:
"Today I will learn nothing new!"
This was going to be just a one-off limerick, something that has been buzzing around in my skull for a couple of days that I had to get out. The idea that "I will learn nothing new today" seems to be a motto of right-wing kooks, something that they adhere to but never actually say out loud.
Until now.
Yesterday, the platform of the Texas GOP was released (PDF), and it has some horribly regressive gems in it. The kicker has got to be this sparkling turd:
"We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS)
(values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs
that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE)
(mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and
have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and
undermining parental authority."
Yup. The official platform of the Republican Party of Texas decries critical thinking. because it might challenge what the student believes. And we can't have that, can we?
Monday, June 25, 2012
Loch and Load
It's great to say that you're teachin'.
Make sure you aren't overreachin'.
'Cause if your lesson's
the 'truth' of Nessie
then those aren't facts: You're just preachin'.
The next step in fundamentalist idiocy is more stupid than I expected. A company called Accelerated Christian Education has reached the bottom of an already disturbingly deep barrel. Their argument, basically, is that the Loch Ness monster actually exists, so it must have swum there after Noah's flood, therefore evolution didn't happen.
They also teach that "apartheid was beneficial to South Africa; reasons include the claim that segregated schools “made it possible for each group to maintain and pass on their culture and heritage to their children”.
A charter school in Louisiana will receive government funding, in the form of vouchers, to teach these things to children.
Make sure you aren't overreachin'.
'Cause if your lesson's
the 'truth' of Nessie
then those aren't facts: You're just preachin'.
The next step in fundamentalist idiocy is more stupid than I expected. A company called Accelerated Christian Education has reached the bottom of an already disturbingly deep barrel. Their argument, basically, is that the Loch Ness monster actually exists, so it must have swum there after Noah's flood, therefore evolution didn't happen.
They also teach that "apartheid was beneficial to South Africa; reasons include the claim that segregated schools “made it possible for each group to maintain and pass on their culture and heritage to their children”.
A charter school in Louisiana will receive government funding, in the form of vouchers, to teach these things to children.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
J Geils Band Was So Very Right
If dating is not going well
and you've gone through a dry spell,
then just take the bait
and sniff out a date
and find true love based on a smell.
So, this is an actual really real thing that people do.
and you've gone through a dry spell,
then just take the bait
and sniff out a date
and find true love based on a smell.
So, this is an actual really real thing that people do.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Words Mean Things
The best thing I've learned is ask why,
and all of life's answers you'll find.
Through all my queries
the big mystery's
how any "real" Christian could lie.
Words really and truly mean things. Very specific words mean very specific things. David Barton, historical revisionist extraordinaire, said:
and all of life's answers you'll find.
Through all my queries
the big mystery's
how any "real" Christian could lie.
Words really and truly mean things. Very specific words mean very specific things. David Barton, historical revisionist extraordinaire, said:
"Now, that's why the Constitution's a problem. Look at Article III, Section 1, the treason clause--direct quote out of the Bible. You look at Article II, the quote on the President [having] to be native-born--that is Deuteronomy 17:15, verbatim. I mean, look at how many clauses come out [of the Bible]. That drives the secularists nuts, because the Bible is all over [the Constitution]. Now, we as Christians don't tend to recognize that. We think it's a secular document--we've bought into their lies. It's not."
Verbatim, as it so happens, is one of those pesky words that mean a very specific thing. Merriam-Webster's defines verbatim:
": in the exact words : word for word "
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Everything You Know Is Wrong
The war on knowledge has begun.
What we thought we knew now's undone.
I believed a bit,
then realized it's shit
because real science has been shunned.
Attention Time Cube guy: A new challenger has arrived!
The Quest for Right is a series of seven textbooks that purports to
What we thought we knew now's undone.
I believed a bit,
then realized it's shit
because real science has been shunned.
Attention Time Cube guy: A new challenger has arrived!
The Quest for Right is a series of seven textbooks that purports to
"represent the ultimate marriage between
in-depth knowledge of biblical phenomena and
natural and physical sciences"
A glimpse at parts of Volume 1 shows the level of sheer idiocy to which the author has sunk. It truly is an escape from reality, and a triumphant refutation of everything science has learned over the years.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Evidence Is Lies
Idiocy seems to be winning.
The creationists are grinning.
Science is losing.
Let's all keep boozing:
There's new polls about beginnings.
According to a Gallup poll released June 1st, 46% of Americans believe that we were created exactly as we are.
It makes Leakey's prognostication seem a little sillier.
The creationists are grinning.
Science is losing.
Let's all keep boozing:
There's new polls about beginnings.
According to a Gallup poll released June 1st, 46% of Americans believe that we were created exactly as we are.
It makes Leakey's prognostication seem a little sillier.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Good Kitty.
I know people care 'bout their cat,
their friend who will purr when they pat.
It's okay to mourn
when your friends pass on.
It's never okay to do that.
A Dutch artist lost his cat after it got hit by a car. I've lost a pet in the same way, so I can understand the pain of the loss. What I cannot understand, however is his response to it.
In what I can only describe as the creepiest thing ever, he turned his cat, Orville Wright, into a remote controlled helicopter.
their friend who will purr when they pat.
It's okay to mourn
when your friends pass on.
It's never okay to do that.
A Dutch artist lost his cat after it got hit by a car. I've lost a pet in the same way, so I can understand the pain of the loss. What I cannot understand, however is his response to it.
In what I can only describe as the creepiest thing ever, he turned his cat, Orville Wright, into a remote controlled helicopter.
 |
| You will see this whenever you close your eyes. |
Friday, June 1, 2012
Kids These Days.
Some battles need to be fought,
although they leave me distraught.
It is not innate:
Kids aren't born to hate,
they grow up just how they were taught.
A small child sings about how "ain't no homos gonna get into heaven" during a service at the Apostolic Truth Tabernacle in Greensburg, IN. These words aren't the child's words. These words were given to him by an adult he trusts. An adult who is supposed to help mold him into a functioning member of society. All this child is going to learn is that anyone who loves differently than himself is evil.
There truly is no hate like religious hate.
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